Q: What drives a lesbian up the wall?
A: A crack in the ceiling.
Q: What’s the difference between a bowling ball and a lesbian?
A: You can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
Q: Being a lesbian is ok, being bisexual is ok, being straight is ok, what’s not ok?
A: Wearing crocs!
Q: What do lesbians call viagra?
Q: What is the leading cause in death with lesbians?
Q: What do you call a horny lesbian dinosaur?
A: A clitosaurus.
Q: What do you call a truck load of vibrators?
A: Toys for Twats.
Q: What’s the difference between a lesbian and a ritz cracker?
A: One’s a snack cracker and the other is a crack snacker.
Q: What do lesbians do after they have an argument?
A: They go home and lick each others wounds!
A woman got lost in the desert. She stumbled across a lamp, rubbed it, and out came a genie.
The genie offered her the traditional three wishes.
Her first wish was to be powerful, intelligent, and loved by all.
The genie thought a moment, snapped his fingers, and turned her into a lesbian.
Q: Why was the lesbian sick?
A: She was lacking vitamin D.
Q: What do you call a lesbian who fell asleep tanning?
A: Fried fish.
Q: What do lesbians need to get married?
A: A Licker license!
Q: What do you call a 300 pound lesbian?
A: A bush hog.
Q: What does an 80 year old lesbian taste like?
Q: What kind of humor do lesbians like?
A: Tongue in cheek.
Q: What do you call a 100 pound lesbian?
A: A weedeater.
Q: Why do lesbians suck at cooking?
A: They always eat out.
Q: Why do gay men like to have lesbian friends?
A: Someone has to mow the yard.
Q: What is the definition of confusion?
A: 3 blind lesbians in a fish market.
Q: How can you tell you’re in a tough lesbian bar?
A: Even the pool table has no balls.
Q: Why don’t fem lesbians go on dates?
A: Because it’s hard to eat Jenny Craig when you’ve got Mary Kay on your face.
Q: What do you call a lesbian Eskimo?
A: A Klondike!
Q: Where can you find a penis on a lesbian?
A: Maybe you should ask Dick van Dyke.
Q: Why did the lesbian refuse to give her girlfriend a high five?
A: She wanted to preserve her palm.
Q: What card game do lesbians play?
Q: What do you call three lesbians in a closet?
A: A Licker cabinet.
Q: What did one lesbian frog say to the other?
“You know, we do taste like chicken!”
Q: A lesbian slept with 13 women in one night and suddenly died.
A: At her autopsy it was discovered she had died from a crack overdose.
Q: Did you hear about the lesbian who took too much Viagra?
A: She couldn’t get her tongue back into her mouth for over a week!
Q: What do you call 25 lesbians stacked on top of each other?
A: A block of flaps!
Q: Why did the lesbo stick a potato up her vagina?
A: So her girlfriend could enjoy some chips with her fish.
Q: What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
A: “I’ll see you next month.”
More lesbian jokes
Q: Who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian relationship?
Neither. They both eat out.
Q: Why were lesbians invented?
So that feminists wouldn’t breed!
Q: What do you call two lesbians floating down a river.
A: Fur Traders.
Q: How can you tell if a lesbian is butch?
A: She kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.
Q: What did one lesbian say to another?
A: “Your face or mine?”
Q: What do you call two Chinese lesbians?
A: Two can chew!
Q: Why do lesbians shave there vaginas?
A: So they don’t start a fire grinding.
Q: How many straight San Franciscans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Both of them.
Q: What do you call two lesbians on their period?
A: Finger Painting.
Q: Why are lesbians lousy construction workers?
A: They don’t know how to handle wood.
Q: What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails?
Q: What do Polish lesbians use for a lubricant?
A: Tartar sauce!
Q: What does Santa get a lesbian for Christmas?
A: A new carpet to munch on.
Q: What do you call a man’s vagina?
Q: The other day a feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.
A: Apparently HD was the wrong answer.
Q: How many screws are there in a lesbians coffin?
A: None, Its all tongue and groove!
Q: Did you hear about the new politically-correct term for lesbians?
Q: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Four. One to change it, two to organize the potluck and one to write a folk song about the empowering experience.
Q: Have you heard about the new lesbian style of running shoe: the dykee?
A: It has an extra long tongue and only takes one finger to get it off.
Q: What do you call a lesbian with 100 semiautomatic rifles?
A: Militia Etheridge.
Q: What do you call an Irish lesbian?
Q: What’s the most important question on the minds of Alaskan lesbians?
A: What would ya do oh oh for a Klondyke bar?
Q: What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers?
A: Well hung.
Q: What do you call lesbian twins?
Q: What do you call a lesbian’s closet?
A: A lick-her cabinet.
Q: Why did the lesbian build a shelf?
A: To hold her shoulders