How do you get a gay guy to fuck a woman? Shit in her cunt.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? GLOVES! Nah, just kidding… He still hasn’t unwrapped his present.
How do Ethiopians celebrate their kids first birthday? By putting flowers on the grave.
How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes start piling up.
How do you swat 200 flies at one time? Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.
What’s black and blue and doesn’t like to have sex? The 9-year-old girl in my basement.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? One, she just holds the bulb to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her.
What’s the difference between jelly and jam? I can’t jelly my dick down a baby’s throat.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can’t do stand up.
Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes
My Grandpa said, “Your generation relies too much on technology!” I replied, “No, your generation relies too much on technology!” Then I unplugged his life support.
What’s the difference between a woman and a computer? You can punch information into a computer.
Jesus Christ fed 2,000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish, but Adolf Hitler made 6 million Jews toast.
What’s the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.
What’s the difference between a Jew and Harry Potter? Harry can escape the chamber.
What do you call a woman who thinks she can do anything a man can do? Wrong.
What’s the difference between black people and snow tires? A: A snow tire doesn’t sing when you put chains on it.
What’s the difference between cancer and black people? Cancer got Jobs.
What do Sarah Palin and Iron Man have in common? They both had a Downey Jr. inside of them.
A black, a Muslim and a Mexican jump off a cliff to see who gets to the bottom first. Who wins? A: Society.
Did you hear the Score of the Egypt vs Ethiopia soccer game? Egypt 8, Ethiopia didn’t.
How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? They don’t. They arrest the bulb for being broke and beat the room for being black.
What’s 9 inches long, pink, and makes my girlfriend scream when I put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage.
What’s the hardest part of eating bald pussy? Getting the diaper back on.
What’s difference between dollars and Jews? I’d give a shit if I lost 6 million dollars.
So I suggested to my wife that she’d look sexier with her hair back… Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
How did Hitler kill so many Jews? Free transportation
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Don’t be stupid, feminists can’t change anything.
What is a pedophiles favorite part about Halloween? Free delivery.
So I painted my laptop black, hoping it would run faster… Now it doesn’t work.
Say what you want about pedophiles but they do drive slower through school zones
What’s the difference between a gay man and a freezer? A freezer doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out.
What’s the best part about fucking a 12-year-old girl? If you flip her over she looks like her little brother
What do you get when you cross goat DNA with human DNA? You get kicked out of the petting zoo.
I don’t understand why Obama has to give his speeches behind bullet proof glass. I mean, I know he’s black and all, but I doubt he’ll shoot anyone.
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing you already done told her twice.
What’s white on top and black on bottom? US culture
Why do Jews have big noses? Because air is free.
What happened when the Jew walked into the wall with a hard-on? He broke his nose.
How long does it take for a black woman to take a shit? Nine months.
How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like an altar boy.
How many Jews can you fit into a car? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and 5,999,995 in the ashtray
How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just sit in the dark and bitch.
What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’ll hate it as an adult.
What’s the worst thing about being black and Jewish? Having to sit in the back of the oven.
What’s a pedophile’s favorite part of a hockey game? Before the First Period.